Today was my last day at Akamai. It’s been brief (Just over seven months), but things weren’t really working out for me there for a number of reasons. I’ve mentioned to a number of people who have known about my decision for a while, that it’s not that it’s a bad place to work, but it never felt like a good fit for me, and I came to realize that I’ve spent most of this last year being in denial of just how unhappy I was, in the hope “things would get better”.
There are a lot of smart people working there, working on really difficult problems, but a lot of those problems just don’t align with my interests, especially when they don’t always involve contributing code back upstream. [clarification: There is some upstream work going on there, just not as much as I’d like].
Add to this my disdain for some of the proprietary tooling that’s prevalent there, and it was becoming clear it was not a matter of “if”, but “when” I was going to leave. As an example; I joked a few months ago to co-workers “next time I’m looking for a job, the first question I ask is ‘do you use perforce’?”. Only it wasn’t really a joke, I was dead serious. User-hostile software has no place in my life.
Even little things like “let’s use git” translating to “let’s license Atlassian stash” rather than “run a git-daemon somewhere” started getting me down.
The final project I worked on there was a continuous rebase strategy for the kernel, moving away from perforce to git. It’s a move in the right direction, but ultimately, not the sort of work that gets me excited, and it’s going to be a multi-year project before it starts really bearing fruit. Given how perforce is ingrained in so many of Akamai’s systems, it would also have been extremely unlikely I’d have been able to purge all knowledge of ever having used it.
The rebase work itself also started to bother me that many of the kernel changes we made had no chance of ever even being submitted, let alone accepted upstream. (In part because many of them are very unique to Akamai’s CDN — you won’t find any of the trickery employed there described in a Richard Stevens book, and they’re unlikely to ever be official RFC’s due to the competitive edge they gain from those changes).
There are exceptions to all of this, and the kernel team is trying to do a better job there with upstreaming most of the newer changes, but many of the older legacy patches are under-documented, and/or understood well by few people, with the original authors no longer around, making it a frustrating exercise to get up to speed; especially when you’re trying to learn what the upstream code is doing at the same time.
Someone with less experience dealing exclusively with open-source for most of their career would probably find many of my reasons for leaving trivial. Those same people would probably find Akamai a great place to work. There are a lot of opportunities there if you have a higher tolerance for such things than I did. It was eye-opening recently, mentoring some of the interns there. Optimism. The unjaded outlook that comes with youth. Not getting bent out of shape at crappy tooling because they don’t know different. It made me realize I wasn’t going to ever be like this here.
On a particularly bad day a few weeks back, a recruiter reached out to me, to find out if I was interested in a second chance at an offer I received last time I was looking for a new job. It worked. Enduring an unhappy situation in the hopes things will get better isn’t a great strategy when there are other options.
So, I start at Facebook in September.
I have no delusions that things are going to be perfect there, but at least from the outside right now, the grass looks greener. I feel bad walking away from problems unfinished, but going home miserable or angry or some other negative emotion every day was really starting to get take its toll. It’s not a healthy way to live.
When I was interviewing last December, I read Being Geek to death, so it’s fitting that I’ve picked it up again recently. One paragraph in particular jumps out at me.
My single worst gig was one where I got everything I wanted out the of the offer letter, but in my exuberance for being highly valued, I totally forgot that my gut read on the gig was "meh". Ninety days later, I couldn't care less that I got a 15% raise and a sign-on bonus. I couldn't stand the mundanity of the daily work, and I happily resigned a few months later, taking both a pay cut and returning my sign-on bonus for the opportunity to work at Netscape.
Anachronisms and minor details aside, that paragraph played through my head this afternoon as I wrote the check to pay back the remainder of my sign-on bonus. I wasn’t quite thinking “meh”, but I knew I was making compromises on what I really valued from day one.
Walking away from unvested RSUs, giving up this months paycheck, and writing that check stings a little, but when I did my exit interview this morning, I knew that I too, was “happily resigning” for a great opportunity.
I’m feeling uncharacteristically optimistic right now. Hopefully it’ll last.
I’ll be in Seattle next week, but due to complications with my registration being transferred to another Akamai employee, I won’t actually be at the Linux plumbers conf. If you’re also going to be there and want to catch up, drop me a mail, or <ahem> hit me up on facebook.